One of the things that I miss the most about when Corgan was little (Haha, I know, right? She's still little, but you know what I mean.) is that she used to cuddle. I spent tons of time, especially on maternity leave, just holding her and loving on her. Then she got busy. Once she figured out how to crawl, forget it. She was mobile and wanted to move! There was no cuddling. No holding. And from time to time, no comforting. That's right. Even when she is crazy upset for some reason, she would rather calm herself down in her own crib than be calmed by someone holding her. There has been many times when that wrenched my heart out, because a mother should be able to calm her own child.
Last week, something shifted. Stuart and I were up on the loft, playing with Corgan, when out of nowhere she picked up a toy, toddled over to me, and sat on my lap. She kept playing with the toy as if nothing was different, but she was in my lap. It was so strange and wonderful at the same time. It has been a long time since I was able to enjoy her cuddle. We'd been fighting a mondo diaper rash, and the next night she woke up in pain. I changed her diaper, and started to try and comfort her. Once I got her in a position that didn't put too much pressure on her underside, she actually calmed down. She let me bounce her. She let me comfort her. My heart broke in that good way it does when you realize how much you love your child.
The past few days, she's kept up the new trend, and I'm hoping it sticks. She's also starting to play on us. She's learning that she can get bounced on our leg or horsey ride on Stuart. This is definitely something I can get used to.
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